This is not the first time I've screwed up a painting trying to fix it, but it is still bothersome. However, I know from experience that it just means I have to keep painting. My work isn't done. I have to continue until until it gives me peace, even when all I want is to be done with it. I may have to set it aside for awhile.
Meanwhile, I'm completely in love with a small piece that had been one fail after another. I kept adding layers to fix it that all ended up looking dreadful so I would set it aside until I would think of something else to try. However, this week it too had come to a place that I really liked but it needed something more. I added a little more, that didn't quite do it, added a little more and oh no, I felt I might have screwed it up again, and then with the application of one last little piece of acrylic strategically placed... TA DA! That completed it! That little piece made all the difference and I love it. Crazy.
Making art is an inexplicably wondrous activity. The artist gets to see the whole process and make choices and more choices. At times I have to battle with the screaming voices in my head and sometimes I just have to ignore them. Realizing art is not brain surgery or rocket science and not life and death has been a great relief to me and given me the freedom to take risks. If indeed I truly screw it up beyond repair, it is just paint and canvas, no big deal!